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Clarity Congo

Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem area:

The Congo River has many personalities. At Malebo Pool, the river is fed into a wide basin where many islands rest in the placid waters. Downstream, the waters reflect the images and sounds of civilization between the cities of Kinshasa and Brazzaville. Farther on, a wild and turbulent nature is shown as it rushes down to the Atlantic. After coursing through the Crystal Mountains, it roars down a stupendous series of rapids and cataracts.

Answer:

- Active Voice: New Subject -

To change a sentence into active voice we sometimes must transpose the sentence to provide a new subject up front. This would be useful to do in our opening paragraph:

    Farther on, a wild and turbulent nature is shown as it rushes down to the Atlantic.

If we transpose the original subject with the new subject we have:

    Farther on, the Congo shows its wild and turbulent nature as it rushes down to the Atlantic.

By asking ourselves, "Who or what is really doing what the verb says is being done?" we can extract the proper subject for our new sentence in the active voice:

    Fearful images are evoked by Joseph Conrad in his 1857 novel, Heart of Darkness.
    Joseph Conrad evokes fearful images in his 1857 novel, Heart of Darkness.
    In 1877, life on the Congo is described by Stanley in his book, Through the Dark Continent.
    In 1877, Stanley described life on the Congo in his book, Through the Dark Continent.

- Active Voice: Hidden Subject -

Sometimes the proper subject is buried in a prepositional phrase. With a little thought we can find this new subject and give the reader a sentence in the active voice:

    In the rapids our excitement was increased.
    The rapids increased our excitement.
    For our journey, a competent boat captain is required.
    Our journey requires a competent boat captain.

 

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