Write Guru

Clarity Mississippi

Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem areas:

Bob and Evelyn Louque chose to spend their summer vacation on the Mississippi because it represents the biggest river in North America. From Lake Itasca in northeast Minnesota, they paddled their canoe all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico, a 3,700 mile journey.

Along the way they employed their wits to survive, camping on the shore and fishing for food. Safety was an important concern. Evelyn often referred to her river map that illustrated danger areas.

After many days and nights on the river, they spent a relaxing evening in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Several days later they arrived at the Head of the Passes, where the river breaks out into bayou channels in the Mississippi delta. They were tired but sad that their journey would soon terminate.

Answer:

- Be Clear With Your Verbs -

We close with one more example of an inappropriate dynamic verb in our opening paragraphs:

    They were tired but sad that their journey would soon terminate.

Substituting a lean verb, we get right to the point:

    They were tired but sad that their journey would soon end.

Because dynamic verbs can have several meanings, we risk misleading the reader when we use them instead of using the "just right" simple verbs. Use good judgment though -- blindly substituting simple verbs can sometimes change the meaning of the sentence. So if the dynamic verb works, use it.

 

Write Guru

  

   Search Help

Tell a friend about this webpage!