Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem area:
The morning was so somber. Before dawn, Amitabh and Chandan carried the bamboo stretcher through the sleepy streets of Varanasi, down to the river. Amitabh's face showed more pain than Chandan.
They will arrive at the burning ghats of Manikarnika as the sun rose above the horizon. Wrapped in red silk, their load was placed next to a neat pile of sandalwood. Workers dipped the body in the holy Ganges, then it was set on a pyre. For three hours Amitabh and Chandan watched the burning. Amitabh felt more affection for his grandmother than Chandan. As blue smoke rose above the ghats, Amitabh would pray that the soul of his grandmother would soon reach paradise.
- Logically Consistent Shifts -
We can also confuse the reader when we present an unnecessary shift -- a change of some kind that leaves things inconsistent or unclear. Some types of shifts are subtle, but we should try to recognize them and correct them. In this lesson we will study shifts in tense, voice, mood, number, and discourse. Our first example is a shift in verb tense:
They will arrive at the burning ghats of Manikarnika as the sun rose above the horizon.
Sometimes it is appropriate to shift verb tense in a sentence, but in this example it does not make sense. Rewrite for consistency:
They arrived at the burning ghats of Manikarnika as the sun rose above the horizon.