Suggest improvements for the highlighted problem area:
The ghats (steps) located on the shore of the Ganges guided the pilgrim to the source of his salvation. He got off of his elephant and stepped down to the water's edge. Despite the fact that the Ganges is a river that is used as a washtub and a sewer, it is still revered as a baptistry. The pilgrim ignored the pollution. He believed that all his sin was instantly wiped away by means of a ritual bath.
- Unnecessary Extra Words -
Unnecessary words, no matter how small, mislead the reader. In our opening paragraph we have used a small function word, of:
He got off of his elephant and stepped down to the water's edge.
In this sentence it is unnecessary:
He got off his elephant and stepped down to the water's edge.
Notice how much more direct the sentence is when this single small word is omitted.
In the following examples, read each sentence after removing the underlined word or phrase. Again notice how the clarity is improved when the deadwood is deleted:
He passed by several pilgrims on their water buffalo.
To attend the month-long religious gathering known as mela, the pilgrims followed the route as described in our tourbook.
The sadhu came from one out of the four ashrams.
The river is accessible by two separate sets of ghats.
Capture the moment with the aid of your camera.
Our various discussions centered on the river.